It wasn't really the anxiety, but more of the soft comfy bed that sinked in perfectly to support the spinal chord and the warm three or four tire bed sheets with beautiful embroidery covering me. It is 4 in morning and i am not able to sleep just before the first day of starting my first job.
After having spent almost 2 years sleeping on the sleeping bed laid on the bare wooden floor with a polyester carpet, the discomfort i felt on the wide bed being guarded by two sentinel lamps each mounted on a beautiful wooden cabinet, was something i was not anticipating. Or perhaps it was the silence that was bothering me. Especially when you spent past one year in an apartment that lies just behind the drive thru of a "jack in the box". Yeah, for sure, they do good business at night. I wasn't suppose to think about sales volume of fast food chain shop at 4:21 in morning just hours before i start to work, i was also feeling fatigue now but the sleep was yet not ready to seep.
I don't remember when i went to sleep but it should be sometime after 4:29 and I don't really remember turning off the 7:15 am alarm i set on my phone to report to office at 8.45 for the orientation scheduled for NCG (New college graduates). However the sleeping NCG, who was still oblivion to the fact that he has graduated a month back, was brought back to worldliness precisely at 8:38 by a phone call. And for the first time i felt the sense of gratitude to that annoying man lady voice from the moving company asking me what address she should move my stuff to. (She has been bothering me for a week now, her voice tone reminds me of my class 4 teacher always rebuking me to about my untidy writing and asking me to tuck my shirt in properly). Freshly out of the bed trying to collect my senses to understand what is going on I budge her away and ask her to call me some other time. yes, the feeling of gratitude is not always convenient to get reflected.
It took me few minutes to realize that i have already made my countrymen proud, by following the Indian timings on my first day of my job in a foreign land, I rushed to the bathroom to find out that i forget to put the toothbrush in my shaving pouch. Generally when faced with the scenario i rub salt on my teeth, but all i had was tea, sugar and milk as part of my kitchen grocery. Yes I only carried the most Essential things.
At 9:33 am before entering the company i checked my phone for the time. I was not at my cheerful best after having to rush to work without a cup of tea or brushing my teeth and almost an hour late. However, i made sure i took a quick shower, perhaps i did not want people to run away from me on the very first day. The recruiter who has always been very nice to me while talking on phone, this time looked perturbed and with a sure bitterness asks "You were suppose to be here at 8:45 for orientation did not you read the letter?". Now there are some moments, when you realize that your tongue is frozen in your mouth due to chills running down ur spine. This was one of those moments. I stare at her for a minute with a stupid grin on my face, making sure i hide my unbrushed teeth at the same time. And then I fabricate an utterly nonsense excuse which if i share here would put the intelligence of NCGs in doubt.
I was later on introduced into the orientation room with three other new employees listening to the presentation. Series of unfortunate events continued throughout the orientation with me not finding a pen to fill up the forms, and not carrying the required documents. As the day ended i had a bleak idea of what am i going to do here. My manager walked me through the team members. The day past in doing errands, getting my id card, acquiring a laptop and desktop, doing some paper work. The day ended at around 6.00 when i decided to walk out of the company. I thought i was leaving earlier than it usually would be. I know as the years pass the first day would fade away from the memory, but i hope the journey is worth cherishing for the life time.