Monday, May 19, 2008

Orkut Apps Suck?

Whats wrong with Orkut? It was simple to use most quintessential social networking website and that was the reason i was hooked up to it, it not only made up for my lack of "socialness", it also allowed me to wish bdays and new years to people I would have not bothered to say "hi" throughout my whole existence. It also has been an excuse and means to peek into some interesting "test cases". And all this I was able to do because it was a simple, fast and easy to use social networking site. And then they decide to put an end to all that simplicity by imitating Facebook. And every time now i log in i find senseless updates from people who think its funny to be "emoting".."i m so confused" and senseless quizzes..."Sudhir has taken a DDLJ quiz...would u like to beat Sudhir" ya i would like to beat him up to death for taking that silly quiz and beat the Orkut guys too for taking the simplicity out of the portal. Not only that, it takes lot of time to load every time i log in, and get back to my home page.

listen Orkut guys, if people wanna use applications they will go to Facebook. U guys need to understand, reason why Orkut picked up well in countries like India and Brazil is coz its simple , Indians in general don't know how to use their fully loaded mobile phones or may i say they are unaware of what to do of 37 buttons on their TV remote control, forget about them using and writing this applications for Orkut. Also large population in India still have very poor Internet connection, all this heavy application is gonna bog down the usage as it no more leaves Orkut a fast portal.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I will miss...

I will miss drinking oversweetened teas made in a meager milk served in the unwashed glasses at the roadside dhaba....I will miss those 'chai parties' at midnight held under the disguise of exam preparations.... I will not miss the filthy, unventilated public urinals with artistically sketched 'Gents' and 'Ladies' on its rotten, precariously supported doors....I will miss the women who dumped me.... and I will not miss those who did not dump me, as i was too insignificant to be noticed by them....I will not miss kneeling down to my 'elders' on celebration...I will miss the cash that were bestowed every time i knelt down....I will miss the 1 re 'pani ka pouch'.....i will miss the 'auto rickshaw rides', moving like a cruise missile through intricate indian roads...i will not miss the 'dhinchek...dhinchek...' cacophonous music played in them....i will miss himesh...i will miss his howling heard everywhere from mobile phones ringtones to fm radios.....i will miss sleeping late in morning...will miss the 18 minutes of commerical breaks for watching 12 minutes of saas bahu(or is it the other way round)...i will miss watching movies in matinee shows...i will miss rajnikant's anti-newton stunts...i will miss the pirated cds of billion dollars hollwyood block busters sold at Rs 40 a piece...i will miss the pirated books... i will miss the vadapaavs,panipuris and dhokla....i will miss the conversation i get stuck with entire strangers in bus, trains an rickshaws.... i will miss the unsolicited advises from parents, uncle, aunties, friends, neighbors, nephews, Marsians.....i will miss watching late night cricket matches a day before exams....i will not miss my dad shouting at me....i will miss my mom pampering me....i will miss the annoying sms jokes and ‘shayris.’..i will miss hutch ka ‘chhota recharge’...i will not miss the long queues at ATMs ... i i will miss the 'shaadi' food, beautifully dressed women in it and all the 'great indian tamasha' around it....i will not miss my roommate who never used to flush the toilets...i will miss the comfort of performing the morning ritual in Desi style toilets...i will miss the swipe cards of my office and playing with a pulley attached to it...i will not miss the traffic jams... i will miss the sadist pleasure i derived form urinating on walls,corners,bushes or garabage dumps under the open sky....i will miss the crowd that followed me or waiting for me wherever i go, whether i go to book railway tickets, watch movies or eat at a restaurant on weekends....i will miss being grammatically incorrect and getting away with it mos of the time….i will not miss the sweating heat on Indian summer...i will miss eating mangoes in summer time..i will miss forgetting raincoat and getting wet in Indian monsoon...i will not miss the 'kichads' the cars splash on me during rain...i will miss free SMS...i will miss the songs on radio mirchi....i will miss you buddies who read my nonsense... yes its true I will miss you India.....

Monday, March 19, 2007

Thank God Bermuda!!

The prayers of billions of Indians have been finally heard. After the Gods realising that even Banladesh is too good for our Men in Blue, it granted them a free pass with Bermuda as opponent in the very next match. Truly, Gods are very generous. And our fallen heroes although down and out but are not duds. They know how to clinch opportunities and 'resurrect' their 'glory' by running over the more than modest team of Bermuda. Bermuda is the smallest test playing nation, with a population of 60 thousand, repeat 60 thousand, its smaller than most of the Indian villages, with only their captain I Romanie a real professional cricketer. Rest of the team is those of amateurs. Its like small time cricket club found in the suburbans of Mumbai. The match was like a PHD fellow student writing class 5 mathematics paper and it is not surprising that it passes it with flying colors.

Yet many questions still lay hanging. What is someone like Robin Uttappa doing in team's world cup campaign? He is inexperienced and does not seem to have special talent of giving team India either a flying start or a strong foundation on foreign pitches . He looks confused in the middle, showing no signs of improvement either today. He might be a good batsman but in professional cricket good is just not good enough. Neither is this the right time to experiment with new cricketers. This is world cup and it dose not get bigger than this. Every team wants to play out of their skin and you don’t need someone flustered around to open for you.

So Virubhai finally succeeded in pulling of a century, its hard to remember after how many ODI's . And this assure him a place against Srilanka. There is not much read into his 'flamboyant' century, would he perform well against test playing nations is still questionable. Dhoni's form raise concerns, have we lost a hard hitting, big shot batsman? Dhoni seems undetermined in his footwork and style, will he rise to the occasion and play his natural game will be major decider for India in upcoming matches.

Above all thanks to the team of Bermuda. It wont have been possible for the men in blue to post such a huge score, if not for gully level bowlers and obsessed and unfit filders of Bermuda. Thankyou Barmuda,Long live Barmuda, Barmua ki jai ho!!!

Men in GLUE

The men in blue were all wilted in glue!u cant expect more when ur opener is someone whos inculsion in the team is due to captain's nepotism. its unfair for robin to come one down, whats his crediblity-zero international exposure.Sachin is old horse, he cant fire big shots, its hard to accept it, like all other truths.dravid is indicisive, not just as a leader but also while selecting his team.dhoni is overburdened with expectations and his long locks.it takes either of two things to help team india reach super 8, either sheer luck or match fixing.it wont go till semifinals!!

Mein ek aam admi hun!!!!

I am an aam aadmi- a mango man. Mango has always been a never ending love affair for me. I have been relishing Mangoes years after years with same zeal of a teenage boy eager to loose his virginity. Infact the years of my life in which I was unable to devour mangoes are those I dont count in my age, they were'nt useful and moreover, lamentful to remeber.

The thought of juicy, bright yellow colured, tangy slices of heavenly flavoured magoes on a sunny afternoon thrills me to an extent, most women fail to. I am not a big time 'foodie' , I have very modest taste buds granted to my tounge and they have a biased inclination towards the fruit.

Unlike most people I know, I am unable to distinguish among the differnt breed of the fruit. Perhaps, I am so much lost in relishing the flavour and stimulating my senses(not just the taste sense) and my brain is so occupied with it that I am unable to distinguish what Mango I am eating. Its just enough for me to know that what I am eating is Mango, it dosent matter much whether its Alphanso, Rajapuri, Kesar, Badam or Kagdo. Keri as we call it in Gujarati, is something I enjoy in all forms and shapes, and I mean it litreally. I have enjoyed the ripe and unripe fruit with same genuine enthusiam.

Keri, is somone I'll like to spend my whole life with. Of all the women and men I have loved and have been loved by, keri bears a place above. Unlike all the women I had a heart felt crush on, and soon lost my intrest in, my affair with Keri has been long lasting. It has rare quality of being sweet and not cloying. A artistic and sensual shape and colour which is so unique that it should be renamed 'keri color'( not yellow, please).

Keri, hope to see you again this year!!!